Whoever invented strep throat is hilarious. I am enjoying their hilarity right now, in fact. What kind of disease makes it so you can’t eat or drink? Who is in charge of this? Strep sucks for anyone, but as a person who loves food, this disease is freaking torturous. I am hungry, but I can’t eat anything because my throat hurts. I am thirsty, but I can’t drink anything because my throat hurts. I have to meter out every swallow, which means I have to make sure what I get into my belly is substantial, but also not pointy. As I discovered this morning, this last part is more challenging than you might think. Routine choices such as breakfast cereal, granola bars, or toast and eggs are out, of course, but improvised choices come with their own perils. Lemon Greek yogurt? It burns! It burns! A smoothie? The tiniest strawberry seed is like thousand claws on my gullet. A protein shake? I’ll be hungry again in an hour, and then I’ll have to do this all over again with twice as many swallows. O Misery! O me, O life! I rue the day I met thee, malady!
After settling on a meal of intentionally oversogged cereal this morning (gag), I decided I was NOT going to go through that again for lunch. I had to have real food. Soft, not-too-bulky real food. I raided fridge and cabinet. Mushrooms? Yes! Smushy and tasty! Soup? A good Southern woman always has a can of cream of mushroom in the pantry. Garlic has medicinal properties, right? I’ll sauté up the mushrooms with a little garlic, add ‘em to the soup, throw in some steak seasoning so it doesn’t taste like paste, and then perhaps a splash of sherry? Game on. GAME ON. So for lunch, instead of soggy cereal, I got to eat some real food – even if it was basically the liquid part of a green bean casserole in a bowl.
Given all that energy, I have decided to take the rest of the afternoon off. Do you guys know anyplace where I can get Popsicles delivered for dinner?
Not-At-All-Pointy Cream of Mushroom Soup
1 tbsp. butter
1 package sliced white button mushrooms (feel free to upgrade to fancier ’shrooms)
½ clove garlic, minced or pressed through a garlic press
1 can cream of mushroom soup
¾ of a soup can milk
1/4 tsp. (or to taste) Montreal steak seasoning
1-2 glugs dry sherry
Melt the butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. After the foam on the sizzling butter subsides, add the mushrooms to the pan. Sauté the mushrooms, stirring occasionally, until golden brown. Add the garlic and sauté 30 more seconds, just until fragrant. Add the soup and milk, reduce the heat, and cook and stir until the lumps of soup are gone and the mixture is heated through. Throw in the steak seasoning and add a glug of sherry, then taste to adjust the seasoning. Pour from the skillet into a bowl and enjoy. Serves 2, or one person who is recovering from a soggy cereal breakfast.
Hi. I'm Amanda. I like to write, eat, tell jokes, and correct commas (mostly in that order). I am also happy to do any of those things for you.